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goblin
wen moon ser 🌕
🧌 The World's Most Budget-Tier Blockchain Project 🧌
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CHEAPDEV

$CHEAPDEV

Built by a developer hired on Fiverr for $500 $4.99.
Audited by his cousin who "knows computers."
Whitepaper written during a bathroom break.
100% Goblin-Backed. 0% Institutional.

🚀 BUY NOW (PLS) 🎰 ENTER LOTTERY 📜 READ WHITEPAPER
CONTRACT ADDRESS
NOT YET HOOMAN 🧌 GOBLIN STILL COOKING
$CHEAPDEV +420.69% 🧌 PRICE: $0.000000001 ▲ MARKET CAP: $47 AND A HALF ▲ DEV WALLET: 99.9% ▼ LIQUIDITY: $12.50 🧌 HOLDERS: 3 (dev, dev's mom, dev's dog) WEN LAMBO: SOON™ $CHEAPDEV +420.69% 🧌 PRICE: $0.000000001 ▲ MARKET CAP: $47 AND A HALF ▲ DEV WALLET: 99.9% ▼ LIQUIDITY: $12.50 🧌 HOLDERS: 3 (dev, dev's mom, dev's dog) WEN LAMBO: SOON™
/// ORIGIN STORY ///

The Goblin Lore 📜

In the dark swamps of the Solana blockchain, a goblin sat hunched over a laptop held together with duct tape and broken dreams. His only tool: a $4.99 Fiverr contract and a copy-pasted SPL token template.

They said it couldn't be done. They said the code had 47 critical vulnerabilities. They said the "tokenomics" were "just a pie chart of the goblin eating everything."

They were right. But we deployed anyway.

$CHEAPDEV is not just a coin. It's a lifestyle. A philosophy. A deeply poor financial decision made communally, which somehow makes it beautiful.

  .-"""-.
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|  / /\ \ |
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 \ \ \/ / /
  '------'
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GoblinDev #0001 Chief Executive Goblin / Lead Dev / HR Dept.
/// TECHNICAL ANALYSIS ///

Live Price Chart 📈
(definitely not made up)

$0.000000001 ● LIVE
▲ +420.69% (24h)
All gains are temporary. The sideways is eternal.
VOL 24H$3.47
MKT CAP$47.50
ATH$0.000000002
ATL$0.000000001
📊 Classic "Goblin Crab" formation. Analysts say: "It do be doing that."
/// TOTALLY FUNCTIONAL DEX ///

GoblinSwap™ 🔄
Powered by prayers and $12 of liquidity

Swap ⚙ Slippage: 420%
You PayBalance: 0.00 SOL
SOL 🟣
⬇️
You Receive (approx.)Balance: 0 $CHEAPDEV
$CHEAPDEV 🧌
Price: 1 SOL = 420,690,000,000 $CHEAPDEV
Price Impact: CATASTROPHIC
Min Received: honestly who knows
Network Fee: $0.04
🧌
Goblin processing
The goblin is slow.
ERROR
Powered by GoblinSwap v0.0.1-alpha-beta-gamma-unstable
/// NUMBERS GO BRR ///

Tokenomics 📊
(we made these up)

🍕1 QUADRILLIONTOTAL SUPPLY"more than you'll ever need,
less than the dev will keep"
🔥0%BUY/SELL TAX"clean trading.
lottery burns it instead."
🧌50%LOTTERY PRIZE POT"one goblin wins big.
everyone else burns."
💀40%BURNED EACH ENTRY"dead wallet gets fat.
supply gets small."
📢4%MARKETING"funds goblin chaos.
and pizza."
💎3% + 3%HOLDERS + LIQUIDITY"holders earn passive.
pool gets deeper."
/// THE PLAN™ ///

Roadmap 🗺️

PHASE 1 — COMPLETE ✓
The Birth of the Goblin
  • Copy-paste SPL token contract from Stack Overflow ✓
  • Change token name to "CHEAPDEV" ✓
  • Deploy at 3am while eating cold pizza ✓
  • Tell 4 friends. 2 blocked us. ✓
PHASE 2 — IN PROGRESS 🔨
Going Viral (Allegedly)
  • Post in 12 crypto Telegram groups
  • Get banned from 11 of them
  • CoinGecko listing (submitted, ignored twice)
  • Hire second goblin developer (budget: $3)
PHASE 3 — COMING SOON™
Moon Mission 🌕
  • Get listed on Raydium / Jupiter
  • Launch CheapDev NFT collection (1000 goblin JPEGs)
  • Weekly Goblin Lottery goes live on-chain
  • Partnership with Wendy's (they don't know yet)
PHASE 4 — THE DREAM
LAMBO SEASON 🏎️
  • Developer buys used Honda Civic (it's basically a lambo)
  • CheapDev metaverse (a Minecraft server)
  • Elon tweets about us (manifesting)
/// THE LEGENDS ///

Meet the Team 🧌

🧌
GobDev
Founder / Lead Dev / Marketing / CEO / Janitor
Hired himself on Fiverr for $4.99. Expert in Solidity (copy-paste). Owns 69% of supply. "For marketing."
🧟
Cousin Kevin
Chief Security Officer / "Auditor"
Took a Python course in 2019. Said the contract "looks fine." Has not looked at the contract. Currently playing Fortnite.
🐕
Mr. Biscuit
Chief Happiness Officer / Advisor
Holds 420 billion $CHEAPDEV. Doesn't know what crypto is. Has never sold. Diamond paws. Our most reliable team member.
👻
Anon
Community Manager
Joined Telegram 3 days ago. Already more active than the dev. Sends "wen moon 🌕" every 4 hours. We love him.
/// YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS ///

FAQ 🤔

Is this a rugpull?▼
No. Definitely not. The dev is still here. He's sleeping right now but he's here. The liquidity is locked. We have a roadmap. Please buy.
Has this been audited?▼
Cousin Kevin looked at it for 4 minutes and said "yeah seems fine." We consider this a full professional audit. Kevin is very smart. He once fixed a printer.
How does the Goblin Lottery work?▼
You enter tokens. 50% goes to the prize pot. 40% is burned forever. 10% split to marketing, holders and liquidity. One random winner takes the whole pot weekly. Win or lose — you burned supply, which is bullish for everyone.
What is the utility of $CHEAPDEV?▼
The token can be used to: (1) buy more $CHEAPDEV, (2) enter the goblin lottery, (3) feel things, (4) post screenshots in Telegram. Governance planned — holders vote on what the dev has for lunch.
Wen lambo?▼
Phase 4. The dev has already picked out a very nice lambo (2009 Honda Civic with a spoiler). We are close. Please tell your friends.
⚠️ NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE⚠️ THIS IS A JOKE (MOSTLY)⚠️ DO NOT INVEST YOUR RENT MONEY⚠️ THE DEV WALLET IS VERY LARGE⚠️ WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING⚠️ COUSIN KEVIN IS NOT A REAL AUDITOR⚠️ MR. BISCUIT IS A DOG ⚠️ NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE⚠️ THIS IS A JOKE (MOSTLY)⚠️ DO NOT INVEST YOUR RENT MONEY⚠️ THE DEV WALLET IS VERY LARGE⚠️ WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING⚠️ COUSIN KEVIN IS NOT A REAL AUDITOR⚠️ MR. BISCUIT IS A DOG
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